There aren’t any pictures of the tears or the broken dreams
You won’t see a picture of me at the cemetery, still in denial, rocking on my knees.
There aren’t any pictures of the dining room table and the empty chair
A photograph can’t capture the obvious pain of Dom not seated there.
There wasn’t a picture of the barren spot underneath the Christmas tree
The missing presents and memories we should have shared with Dominic & Frankie.
No one took out their camera in the church on Christmas Eve
As we stood there, silently crying, trying to be unseen as we grieve.
There isn’t a picture of my mom and me in the bathroom hysterical with tears,
While everyone else kissed and hugged as they shouted “Happy New Year!”
You won’t see a selfie of me after I’ve been in the shower crying,
There’s no camera around to witness me lying on the couch thinking of Dom dying.
There’s no picture of me lighting the candle every night,
Or of me looking up at the sky searching for signs of Dom’s light.
The photos of my night out stop once I’m home.
When my friends are gone, my family’s asleep, but I’m still awake all alone.
The camera didn’t make it with me down the basement steps,
It didn’t record me sobbing, feeling angry distressed.
The pictures that do exist only show the good
They show my blessings, my faith and strength
They show me doing as I “should.”
So please don’t be fooled when you see only what the camera takes.
For while all of that IS REAL, there’s also a lot of sadness and pain in the outtakes
Time doesn’t heal
My grief will never end
I won’t get over Dom’s death
It lives besides me everyday like a new best friend.
These unseen photos are my truth
Alongside with what everyone sees
The world is made up of unseen photos,
Our lives are not always as they seem.
fstef726 